Once upon a time, a young, newly appointed knight rode deep into the unchartered lands while on his very first quest.

He approached a dark and forbodding castle wherein he heard a maiden weeping.

He was unable to see her, for the stone walls were high and massive and the gate was made of solid teak and iron. But he knew from the quality of her laments that she was a silken-haired, intelligent and spirited beauty.

" Oh maiden," he called. " How may I help thee? Thou soundest in great distress."

" Oh knight," she cried. " For I know thou art a knight by thy manly voice. Perhaps thou wouldst think on taking me from this evil place where my father does nothing but try to marry me off to the Knight Sir Michael and where the men's tongues are good for nothing but eating, drinking and telling false stories about their conquests."

" Consider it done," said the knight thinking mightily on what else a man's tongue might be used for. " I will fight a dragon or thy father if need be, and even I will fight the Knight Sir Michael, who whilest named for angel, is devil in disguise. Open the gate fair maiden and we shall off."

" I canst do it, fair knight," she cried. " Sir Michael hast weldedeth the hinges shut and he hast putest glue in the keyhole."

" Well then, tell me fair maiden, how shall I doeth this task that thou hast assigned?" asked the perplexed knight.

" It's a magic and cowardly gate," said the maiden. " Simply run at it full tilt and it will open rather than bear thy weight."

The knight, full in love, dismounted, and ran at the gate, at not quite full, but yea at fair tilt. There was a great crash and he lay slightly stunned on the ground before the still closed gate.

" What hast happened to thee?" cried the maiden.

" Methinks the gate's magic hast worked against me," exclaimed the astonished knight.

" Didst thou run full tilt," inquired the maiden?

" Perhaps I heldest back a bit," said the knight with a bit of shame in his voice.

" Then full tilt it is if thou carest about what happens to me," said the maiden.

So the knight, full in love, ran once again at the gate, but, yea, this time at full tilt. There was an even greater crash and he lay even more stunned on the ground, bleeding from even more bodily places.

" What hast happened to thee?" cried the maiden.

" Methinks the gate's magic hast again worked against me," said the knight.

" Didst thou run full tilt?" asked the maiden?

" Yea verily, this time full tilt," said the knight with pride in his voice although even his tongue was somewhat wounded.

" Wast thou wearing thy armour?" asked the maiden.

" Yea, thanks to the gods, for it behooves me to say that without mine armour I would have mashed myself to peasant pulp," said the knight.

" Next time do thou without thy armour," said the maiden. " For fine armour workest against the gate's magic."

So the knight, full in love, removed his armour and ran once again at the gate, this time at full tilt and without his armour. There was an even greater crash and he lay even more stunned on the ground, bleeding even more from most bodily places and brused throughout all his physical lands.

" What hast happened to thee?" cried the maiden.

" Methinks the gate's magic hast worked a third time against me," cried the knight.

" Didst thou run full tilt without armour?" asked the maiden?

" Yea, as thou biddest, full tilt and no armour," said the knight proudly but regretfully and with dreadfully wounded tongue.

" Then thou hast learned thy lesson," said the maiden.

" What lesson be that?" asked the knight.

The maiden then opened the gate and stepped through, carrying bandages and a sewing kit.

" Thou openest yon gate freely. How happenest that?" cried the knight, confused yet mightily taken by her fair contenance.

" Yea, I didst," said the maiden with just a hint of smile on her sweet lips. " Thou hast learned that a maiden must be correctly wooed, and that she must never makest the first move in the pursuit of worldly pleasures, even if that move be easy."

The knight lay back and accepted the maiden's succor and sewing, warmed by the thought that he had successfully completed his first quest, the rescue of a damsel in distress. And, as knights are wont to do, he began to think on how to find, and yea, gain entrance to the jade palace ... which entrance is the real object of any knight's quest ... but that is the subject of another story, the story of the Second Quest.